Monday, September 23, 2013

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” ― Kathryn Stockett

This morning I was vexed. I attributed my roommate to not replacing a waterbottle in the fridge to replace the one she had taken so that the next one would be cold. One of my bowls had leftover sparkles from the cereal she was currently eating, and she had yet to contribute to the tissue and toilet paper fund! (tho to be fair she's been here a weekish).

These were the thoughts traversing my mind this morning.

But I missed it yesterday. (sudden shift in topic). Today we learn that someone at work had tried to commit suicide. Again I missed it. We all miss it. We only hope that we don't. And yet when we look back we put emphasis on the parts where we think we missed it. Where we think we could have stopped it.

I know I'm no expert on this topic and that I prefer not to preach on it. Because it's...not that it's taboo it's just that I never seem to say the right thing. Often the comforting words when suicide occurs to others we know in our life are "There's nothing you could have done." I've heard that for many taboo, intense happenings in life as a sort of comfort. But there will always be the feeling of, "What if I could?"

Many in the military feel it is selfishness, to try and kill yourself. To play devil's advocate, it holds a great amount of truth. It shuts down operations, it hurts the ones you love, it hurts the ones who are your friends, and it hurts the ones you didn't even know who looked up to you. But to be myself, I would not call it selfishness. I would label it as sadness untempered. There's a sort of backwards comfort I keep to myself when I go though harshish times (let's be honest, the worst I have to complain of in life is not being married and lets be doubly honest, that's mostly my fault) found in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." And I kind of apply this to my troubles. My troubled love life is pretty common and when I remember this I just kind of calm down in mutual misery with the world I guess haha. Then I go read a book or have fun playing video games.

But that's not good enough for some people and in my book, that's fine. Some don't want to turn to religion. People are different, get comfort differently, and well...what can you do about it but try whatever comes to your mind and maybe more. Or just ask them? I should take a class or something.

So I guess the best I can do is forget about the tissues and toilet papers of life. I guess Christ really is right, where if you feel someone has wronged you to forgive them 70 times 7...and buy candy bars for everyone...and repeat the above title phrase until it looses all meaning...I'm going to go eat ice cream now.

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